Wanda the fish | Light bulbs

Q:    How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A:    One.

Q:    How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:    Two.  One to assure everyone that everything possible is being
    done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
   
Q:    How many college football players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:    Only one, but he gets three credits for it.

Q:    How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A:    None.  The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

Q:    How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:    None.  The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out
    of the way.   

Q:    How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:    Five.  One to screw in the light bulb and four to share the
        experience.  (Actually, Californians don't screw in
        light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.)

Q:    How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:    Three.  One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all
        those Californians trying to share the experience.

Q:    How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:    One.  He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem
    to the earlier joke
   
Q:    How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:    You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb.  Now, if
    you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...   

Q:    How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:    None.  We'll fix it in software.

Q:    How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:    None.  The application can work around it.

Q:    How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:    None.  We'll document it in the manual.

Q:    How many tech writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:    None.  The user can figure it out.

Q:    How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:    Three.  One to report it as an inspired government program to bring
    light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot
    to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for
    reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb-assassin to break
    the bulb in the first place.

Q:    How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a
    light bulb?
A:    Seven.  Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in
    the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send
    Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim
    that he's a doctor, not an electrician).  Scotty, after checking
    around, realizes that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains
    that he "canna" see in the dark.  Kirk will make an emergency stop at
    the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb
    from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something.
    Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers
    beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promply
    killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.
    As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand,
    Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must
    warp out of orbit.  Although badly outgunned, he cripples the Klingon
    and races back to the planet in order to rescue Kirk et. al. who have
    just saved the natives' from an awful fate and, as a reward, been
    given all light bulbs they can carry.  The new bulb is then inserted
    and the Enterprise continues on its five year mission.